apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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