Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
