idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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