Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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