She went from zero to smokin in five shots
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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