i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
