So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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