there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dick very happy bro
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
