if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
