if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
