Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Found your dick twin last night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
