he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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