I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
