omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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