lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
