but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
