i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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