Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
