I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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