therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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