dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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