dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize