She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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