Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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