id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
