this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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