Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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