she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
