Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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