Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
