I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
