I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
