I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
