Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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