I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
