now i know why i became what i already was.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
