I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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