what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sorry about my life...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
