Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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