11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
