I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
