Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
