She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
