Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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