I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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