you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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