sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
