i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
