I am spending my child support on dildos
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
