Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
