Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
