You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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