Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
