Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
