dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
