3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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