Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
