i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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