hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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