I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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