Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
