I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
