that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
