Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
