I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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